I struggle with ending things forever, I always have. I get so caught up in "this is the last time that I'll ever"... then fill in the blank. And this year has already been full of them. Last traveling volleyball tournament. Last first day of grade school. Last time giving out Halloween candy with my family. But then small, dumb things too - at concerts, the last time I'll play a certain composition. When we get new furniture, the last time I'll sit in this chair.
I really have a hard time giving things up, and I dwell on "lasts" heavily as they're happening. Once it's over, I'm almost always fine and I just forget about it, but before and during it's all I can think about. I get attached to things, and when I know they're ending it makes me sad that an entire chapter/era/memory in my life is ending forever.
Senior year has been full of lasts, and there's lots more to come that will probably tear my heart apart. Even now, I'm lamenting that tomorrow is my last day of my current classes, and that this is my last blog. Sad. But like the fortune cookie in Anna's presentation said, we can't let the past slow us down, and eventually we have to look to the future. But I'm still allowed to be a little mopey over it, right?!
I get sad over some small things but not the seemingly major things. I didn't feel to sentimental about the last first day of school or the last time I'd look at my EE (phew). But I felt sad when we sold a car we had had since I was born when I was 14. Who knows??
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