DIPLOMA CANDIDATES GATHERING/PARTY

Karli, Anna and Cody all brought up the idea of a Dip Can party of some sort, and it also seemed like in class that most people seemed on board with a Secret Santa among us. Yes?

What if we got together to draw Secret Santas next advisement? Or possibly two advisements from now, when Mrs. Larson is getting us together anyways? The other question is how much we should plan to spend, because I know some of us have no personal income so that can get tough.

If we decide we want to have a party/reunion thing, I would be willing to host over winter break. We could exchange our Secret Santa gifts, Cody could show us his Shoegazer music he's always wanted to, etc.

SO WE HAVE MANY THINGS TO DECIDE AS A GROUP.

1) Do we all want to do Secret Santa? Anybody who doesn't want to should speak up.
2) What kind of price range should we set on Secret Santa? I feel we shouldn't go over $5 or $10
3) Do we all meet up next advisement, or wait until Mrs. Larson's mandatory IB advisement  the next week to draw names?
4) Would everybody be down with an IB party at my house, or were there other plans/ideas?
5) What dates DON'T work for people over the Holiday break? This way we can try to find a day where everybody who wants to can come :)

I miss our class together already, and I hope this stuff works out! PLEASE comment and put in your opinions and thoughts about these questions so we can definitively plan something!

Last Day, Last Blog

     I struggle with ending things forever, I always have. I get so caught up in "this is the last time that I'll ever"... then fill in the blank. And this year has already been full of them. Last traveling volleyball tournament. Last first day of grade school. Last time giving out Halloween candy with my family. But then small, dumb things too - at concerts, the last time I'll play a certain composition. When we get new furniture, the last time I'll sit in this chair.
     I really have a hard time giving things up, and I dwell on "lasts" heavily as they're happening. Once it's over, I'm almost always fine and I just forget about it, but before and during it's all I can think about. I get attached to things, and when I know they're ending it makes me sad that an entire chapter/era/memory in my life is ending forever.
     Senior year has been full of lasts, and there's lots more to come that will probably tear my heart apart. Even now, I'm lamenting that tomorrow is my last day of my current classes, and that this is my last blog. Sad. But like the fortune cookie in Anna's presentation said, we can't let the past slow us down, and eventually we have to look to the future. But I'm still allowed to be a little mopey over it, right?!

Killing a Puppy

A couple weekends ago, a few people and I had the privilege of taking care of two adorable six-week-old yellow labs for about six hours. They were so precious, it was unbelievable.

My brother's friend, part of the puppy team, posed a question that reminded me of some of our discussions in TOK1. "Would you snap one of these puppy's necks for a million dollars cash?"

It's awful. It pulls at your heart, and your immediate answer is NEVER. But then somebody in the discussion mentioned, after lots of thinking, that they might. They thought of what a million dollars could do - solve all paying for college/getting established in life fees, and also be donated to charities. This person valued the dogs life as less than a human's life, and if many human lives could be significantly improved, then in might be worth the life of the animal. After all, they said, this puppy had no family, nobody attached to it. Although it might haunt them for a while, weighing the positives and negatives they would chose the money and didn't feel that killing a dog would be immoral. It was an interesting thought.

How do you feel about judging the worth of an animal's life vs. a human's? Would you kill a puppy for $1,000,000? What about a horse... deer... rabbit...bug? If you answered "no", where do you draw the line in the animal kingdom? It's a tough question, I think.

I'm Going To Miss This

I'm so excited for this difficult trimester to be over!

Mostly.

The homework level is hard, especially because of all the writing we've had to do. But the classes themselves - especially TOK - have been awesome. We have a lot of writing/creative/research work, but it's fun work. Next trimester I think all? of us have a math and a science replacing history and TOK. These classes, while (at least in my experience/prediction) require less time dedicated to work outside of class, require no creativity or personal expression, and we'll lose class discussions and cool presentations like these finals. Maybe it's just because I'm more of an english-type than a math-type, but I feel that I'll miss this trimester and this class soon enough.

Colleges Looking At Facebook

Today, I did a hardcore sweep and clean of my Facebook page, looking over all my info and pictures and "likes" and deleting "Friends" I hardly know, and I stumbled upon a few things that I've never looked at before. I found "My Apps", and it turned out that I had about a dozen apps that I was apparently "using" or a part of without ever signing up or agreeing to anything. As I was deleting them, I saw one was "University of Notre Dame Admissions". This is my #1 college choice, and I had "liked" the school's page, but I knew that I didn't register for any admissions Facebook app. When I investigated further into the app's usage and rights, I discovered something that made my heart drop: 2 days ago, the app accessed and viewed my personal info ("education", "about me", "family", "religion", "relationship status", everything!) friends, and "likes". AHHH! I realize there is nothing necessarily bad or incriminating about this information, but it's terrifying that Notre Dame somehow weaseled their way into accessing it, especially when I know my application is under review this month. I deleted and blocked them now, but I fear the damage is already done and they know what they wanted to know.

Anyways, let this be a warning - schools DO have the power to see what you put on Facebook! I thought that, because only my "Friends" can see my information, that a school would have to Friend Request me and I could just ignore them. But apparently, there's more to it than that. I only wish I had caught them in my apps a few days earlier. Scary stuff.

Too Early for Christmas?

I realize everybody might not celebrate Christmas, but even for those who don't I feel that it's such a prominent part of our society this time of year that you can't completely escape it, and maybe you might have opinions on this too. Christmas Day is in exactly one month. But radio stations have been playing Christmas music for a couple weeks now, many people kicked off Christmas shopping on Black Friday (or Black Thursday, this year), all the Christmas lights in my neighborhood are on at nights, fast fooderies have Christmas drinks out - "Christmas season" is in full swing. 

I personally LOVE this right now - I love Christmas season, and I've been waiting what feels like too long to sing Christmas tunes again. But by Christmas Day, I'm ready to be done with it all. Does it feel like Christmas season becomes longer and longer each year? Is this good, because of the joy and giving of the season, or bad, because by Christmas, when "spirit" should be at it's peak, many people are sick of it? 

Thanksgiving Resolution

My favorite part about Thanksgiving is that it's a day of personal reflection, where other holidays are always celebrating something outside of ourselves. I really feel like Thanksgiving would be a better holiday to make resolutions for, versus New Years. So that's what I did today - made a resolution.

I'm too dependent on my phone. I've realized lately that it's gotten bad - I'll walk from my room to the kitchen to get a glass of water, and I'll carry my phone with me. I'll go to the bathroom, and bring my phone. It never leaves my pocket or my hand, and that's just not something I want to rely on. Twitter is one of the main ways I spend time on my phone, so today I logged off. Then I deleted a few more pointless apps that I use seemingly just to pass time. For Thanksgiving I'm realizing how great the people and opportunities around me are, and I want to appreciate them all more!

Books... For Fun?

Yesterday, Ally and I did something we haven't done in ages: we rented books from the library to read purely for enjoyment. With all the stress of first trimester, that has seemed improbable for months. But as this tri finally winds down, I felt that I would actually be able to read for fun again. Ahhhh! I can't express how joyful I am over this. In fact, I rented books that I knew were below my reading level just to sort of prove to myself that this is just for my own pleasure. Take that, IB! (Oh, the forms of rebellion us IB kids take on...)

Seniors and School Rules

     It seems that this year more than ever, it feels like school rules don't, or shouldn't, apply to us seniors. Today,  a couple instances highlighted this for me.
      My orchestra teacher let us pack up about ten minutes before the bell rang today, which basically never happens. Instead of standing around in the music hallway and staring at each other for ten minutes, most of us decided to just leave and go to our lockers or wherever early. As a freshman, I would have stressed over a school official catching me in the halls and asking for a pass. Today, I didn't even think twice about it.
     Then, in second hour, we had an awful and controlling substitute teacher in Spanish class. There was lots of extra time at the end of the day, where we had literally nothing to work on and no activity to do, so a few students took out their phones and iPods. The substitute (who I could go on forever about) took any electronic she saw, and took them to the AP to keep until the end of the day. How awful! We were seniors, we were mature. We were all baffled she was treating us like such children. I use my phone in many of my classes, not hidden but right in front of teachers - they trust me, and never take it away. But then, I suppose, that is actually a school rule... (weird, nobody enforces it anymore).
     As we get older we expect more freedom and trust, and often lately I find school rules to be embarrassingly elementary and pointless in nature. Of course I understand that these rules are needed to keep control in many cases, but I must say, instances like these make me feel that we have truly began to outgrow high school and need the freedom of college. 

When A Break Is Anything But

Yay! Five day break!

... Right?

Not. Sure, five days off of school, but now that time is, for me, just filled with other activities and responsibilities. Granted, many of the things I have planned are more recreational in nature than school, but most of them are not my choice and literally my entire break (besides Sunday, which will be filled with homework anyways) is booked already. Haircut, out to lunch for grandma's birthday, dinner with some friends, babysit cousins, put up Christmas lights, Thanksgiving dinner, family trip to the cabin for a night . It seems that until spring break and then graduation, I'll never be able to catch a real break. Remember the summer days when we could literally wake up at noon, then decide how to spend the rest of the day? Sigh...

Oh yeah, knowledge issue. Does anybody else fear that as we get older, we'll have less and less of that true freedom like we have had during most summers growing up? It's a sad thought. Can I stay 18 forever?

Turning Life into a Movie

It's crazy how dramatic music can make life. On Saturday, I went to a huge fancy Cystic Fibrosis gala event with my family, and at my dad had been asked to give a speech about our family's experience with CF. My dad is a wonderful speaker and speech writer, and I had to stand on stage with him as he gave the speech. By the end of his speech, half of the room was in tears, and I finally broke down as he finished. I probably would have been able to compose myself within a minute if it hadn't been for the dramatic, soundtrack-like music that was played as we left the stage. As my family and I wove (weaved?) through the hundred of people sitting at tables and applauding us, suddenly everybody stood up and turned to us. This standing ovation, combined with the hundreds of tear-stained faces looking at us, combined with the loud dramatic soundtrack playing, made me feel like I was in the middle of a movie. It was such a powerful moment; not only because of the extreme gratitude I felt, but because of the music too! I feel that if there was a way to have a soundtrack to life all the time, to enhance emotions, life would be much more exciting and dramatic. And there would probably be more crying.

Acceptance Letter Time

I got my first college acceptance letter the other day, to Gustavus. It seems as if many seniors are getting to this acceptance/denial letter season, and it's terrifying. One piece of mail could literally determine where you will live, who you will meet, and what you will learn in the next four years. It's mind blowing! But we have until May 1 to decide and commit to a college, so why find out so early? If you're decided on where you want to go hands-down, I see the appeal of applying early. But if you don't know where you want to go, is it better to have 4+ months to muse over your options and wonder and decide and change your mind and change your mind again? Or would it be better to find out and decide last-second, to save yourself from stress of deciding and second-guessing yourself on your choice? I'm almost wishing I had applied later so that I wouldn't have to think about it for so long and wonder!

Six foot rule

So among people with cystic fibrosis, there's this policy called the six foot rule - we're not supposed to be within fix feet of each other, to prevent spreading infections (b/c the infections we have are only contagious to other CF patients). I go to many CF events, and I've never really been a fan of this rule - I feel like connections with other patients are extremely valuable, and it's hard to talk from two yards away. Is it ethical for me to walk up to CF friends and start a conversation? I've decided the risk is worth it, and I know thatI haven't cultured out any infections beyond a few basic ones that nearly every person with CF carries by my age. Is it okay for me to initiate a conversation, and leave it up to them whether they want to step away or not? Of course I honor the wishes of those who have expressed that they appreciate the rule. I just feel the whole thing is a bit overprotective!

IA vs. EE

I've had a lot of EE posts lately, I know. But what can I say? It's a big part of my life right now.

Just posing a question - which did you like to do better, the IA or the EE? Not taking into account timeframes or anything: would you rather write a 2,000 word research paper with a clear structure on a history event of your choice, or a 4,000 word research paper with a much more flexible structure and on a topic and even subject of your choice?

I'm still not sure what my answer would be. IA, because it's easier and requires less thinking and creativity (which takes more time and can be exhausting). But EE because I really don't enjoy history, but my EE topic is interesting to me.

What do you think?

Senior Perspective on Band

      I've been in the symphonic band class in all four years of high school. Freshman year, when I was moved to this top band 2nd semester, I was nervous as heck. I was the only freshman in the band of 50-ish people besides one boy who played tuba and sat on the opposite side of the room as me. That year, band was a scary but exciting class for me: I was surrounded by upperclassmen, the music was fast, I had so many notes to play, we sounded so much better than the freshman band. On top of this, the flute section loved me: apparently being a freshmen automatically made me a hot commodity. Band was so interesting and exciting then.
     Sophomore year, I was in the same band (there's no "next step" after symphonic). I still felt special as only a handful of sophomores made the band, and I began to nervously make friends with some upperclassmen. I still felt that the band was really good, and I actually felt like I could master the notes and rhythms.
     Junior year, band class began to get boring. For the third year, I had band every day during first hour, and we had the same routine of warm-ups, concert schedules, and rehearsals. On top of this, I had played in the All State orchestra over the summer before junior year, so the level of skill and musicality just didn't seem as special any more. Also, many more people in my grade were in the same band - I no longer felt "special" to be a junior in the band.
     This year, the pattern continues. Because most of my band friends had been upperclassmen (and also because I'm in IB music and out of band some days), I find myself slightly isolated from the flute section. The routine is still essentially the same. Like any senior band member, I'm also a master at deciphering just what and why the conductor, Mr. Lyons, does and it's become very predictable. We've even played some songs that I played in symphonic band freshman or sophomore year. Although I still like the class and love playing, the class itself has lost a lot of its touch.
     Isn't it strange and sad how a perspective on something that stays so constant can change over time? Band used to be so exciting for me; now it's gotten boring, and I feel like the class has very little to offer me anymore. I apologize for the long post, but I was just thinking back on my band memories and how they've changed over time and feeling a little sad about it.

Ethics of Scholarship Applications

Obviously, it would be great to pay as little as possible for college, and many of us are trying to get as many scholarships and grants as possible to make the financial burden of our futures a little lighter. Many independent scholarships (where I find myself looking, because my dream school doesn't offer many of their own) require essays or other personal information in order to apply for the scholarship.Obviously, there will be heavy use of rhetoric to try and persuade the evaluators to give the scholarship to you, but at what point is it unethical? Sure, you might enjoy your time volunteering every week at such-and-such, but can you really write about it being a passion that has heavily impacted your life and made you into a better person and student? This is certainly what scholarship people would like to hear. My desire to acquire as much money for college as possible has led me to exaggerate a bit on things like this, and it's been hard to keep the ethics of it all in check. Thank God for TOK to keep that little voice in my head all the time making me worry about things like this!

EE Struggles

As I finish my extended essay, I'm getting worried as I check back at the guidelines for World Studies papers, the category I'm doing mine in. This is a really new option to write an EE in, and I couldn't even find any examples of World Studies EEs online. That in itself is terrifying - how do I know what to do?

What I DO have is the IB packet of guidelines, but I'm realizing that the focus and structure of my paper doesn't exactly fit with what IB wants. I'm researching/writing about the global distribution of cystic fibrosis care, and focusing on how (and why) it can be improved on a global scale. However, IB wants a study of a local issue that can later be tied to global perspectives. I worry about my paper being too broad and general; even though it's coming together nicely into between 3,000 and 4,000 words, I'm afraid IB will punish me for not having a specific focus. And now that it's 11:15 the night before the paper is (sort of not really) due, I'm freaking out that IB is going to hate my paper and fail it and make me fail the diploma program.

Overreaction?

Anyways, I'm upset. I'm proud of the actual writing in my paper, and I'm going to work to make the grammar and abstract and title page and citations and works cited as perfect as possible over the weekend. However I feel that no matter how "well" its written, IB could get crabby if the content isn't in the exact form they want. Gulp.

Election Time in School

Today is a huge day for the nation and for our futures - election day. I've been getting excited and doing my research for a while now; I was disappointed to see how it was hardly mentioned in school.
A few teachers commented on the "I Voted" stickers some of us students were wearing, and one teacher mentioned how he was going to vote tonight then stay up watching the results, but that was about it. I know, I know - what was I expecting? Fireworks? Speeches? I don't know. I just feel like, in comparison to the weight and importance of the matter in the country and state, it was shied away from at school.
Is this because teachers simply don't have time to talk about it with the tight curriculum, or is it caused by a fear of teachers discussing politics? I just wish we could talk about current events a little more in school.

Expectations

I was having an interesting conversation with a friend the other day about expectations others have for us. My friend said he mostly keeps to himself, and feels pity for people who are "popular" because of all the expectations they must be expected to carry out. Although I see this point, I also feel that it doesn't really matter how many people are watching - expectations still match a person's history of actions. If you've seen how a person behaves or what a person accomplishes for a period of time, you start to expect more of this same behavior in the future. No matter how many people care or are watching.

This pattern of noticing data and patterns and creating "expectations" sounds a lot like "knowledge" to me. But when does it hold us back? If people have low expectations of us, does it take more self-motivation to overcome this and succeed? And if expectations are held high for us, does it put extra pressure on a person, and make it more disappointing if they fail?

I would argue that having higher expectations for others is more productive and encouraging than having low expectations. However, I know others would say that having low expectations means less disappointment. Any thoughts?

Favorites

I never know how to answer when people ask me what my favorite class is, because that's not specific enough - my favorite SUBJECT? My favorite TEACHER? My favorite HOUR during the day? My favorite HOMEWORK LOAD? Right now, almost all of these are different.
Same thing with movies. How you can pick out a favorite? There's so many different elements to consider, and mood and memories all mix.
The movie or color I'd enjoy best right at this moment might not be the same as tomorrow or even an hour. I protest against labeling "favorites"! Ever! It's too hard!

EE Goals

Who are we writing our EEs for? This is sort of a funky situation, where we're writing it for a grade from a teacher but also for points from IB. Which is more important, and where would you rather receive a high score? I feel that it should be IB, but to be honest I think the CP grade means more to me. What are your thoughts on this?

Mobile!

I'm writing this via the mobile blogger app on my phone. Technology has made so many tasks quicker and more portable and/or convenient, but does this make us lazy in return? When we can do so much instantly (research, socialize, blog, shop, type), do we develop less patience to do tasks that involve travel, waiting, or delay?

Or another thought - how has instant internet access made our lives HARDER? My main example would be the increased expectations in school regarding amount of research, less time to write papers, deadlines at any time of day via turnitin, more temptation to cheat, etc.

Just some thoughts as I sit here on my smartphone with about ten windows open on my laptop right in front of me... (how did our parents do it?!)

Is it Possible to Talk Forever?

     I'm around my closest friends a LOT.  We've been close all throughout high school, and we do almost everything together. You would think that we would get sick of each other, or bored of talking to the same people - but that just doesn't happen.
     This week, for example, I've spent many many hours together with my friend Sydney. We watched a volleyball game and then a soccer game and then a movie together on Tuesday  then hung out all day Wednesday  went to the football game, and watched another movie together (others were always with us, she just happens to be the only constant at all these events). That night she slept over at my house, and we lied there and talked until almost 5:00 in the morning. How can we spend SO much time together, yet still have so much to talk about all the time? We've been like this for years, and I feel confident saying we've never run out of things to talk about. Is it possible to talk forever with the same person? Can two people muse over the workings of the world without the conversation ever getting boring or predicable?

Weather, Season and Mood

It's insane how much the weather can affect one's mood and personality. I feel the biggest factor isn't temperature, but how much sunshine there is. Sun just makes everything brighter, happier, and gives me more ambition and energy. Gloomy clouds are simply depressing.

I have a friend with SAD, seasonal affective disorder. During the winter months, she is a completely different person than she is during the rest of the year. She gets quiet, somber, emotionless. This year, she has finally recognized it and is starting to take action against it, and is getting a light for phototherapy. For her sake and for the sake of those of us around her, I really hope it helps.

Why does weather affect some people's mood more than others? Is it biological, or due to a state of thinking? Is it really the sun's vitamins and power that makes the difference, or is it just knowing that the sun is or isn't out that can change one's mood?

My (Sketchy) "New Best Friend"

      Yesterday I witnessed a disturbing scene at the football game. I've been debating the ethics of posting this, but I won't mention any names and I believe that nobody will/can get in trouble over this.
      I was in the bleachers cheering for the Rebels, and standing next to somebody I'd never met before. He started chatting with me, introduced himself, and then proclaimed "we're best friends already, I love it." This didn't bother me at all, I figured he was just being friendly.
      However, then he whispered something to a boy walking by, and that boy went and talked to a bunch of his friends, and soon there was a line leading up to the boy next to me. My "new friend" pulled off his backpack, and I soon learned that he was selling miniature bottles of vodka "on sale" for $2 a piece. Since I was right next to him, I heard all his conversations and saw all of his customers (there must have been at least a dozen). I didn't know how to react, so I just turned to talk to my friends on my other side.
      WHY do people find it so exciting to drink at football games? At a school function on school property, and especially as underage drinkers, they're just asking for trouble. Is that risk what makes it so intriguing? My other issue was this - was the boy I just met really friendly and interested in being my friend, or was he just gaining my trust or testing the waters to see how I'd react to his alcohol deals? I felt played, and found myself in an extremely awkward position deciding how to react. The entire situation caused me to leave the game early I was so disturbed.

Recognizing Racism - A Downward Spiral?

Racism (and many other -isms, but here I'll just focus on race) is a very real issue in the world today. This year in IB English, focusing on the media, naturally we discuss race issues a lot. But I often go back to an interview with Morgan Freeman (I believe from 60 Minutes).

MIKE WALLACE, CBS`s "60 MINUTES": Black History Month, you find...


MORGAN FREEMAN, ACTOR: Ridiculous. 

WALLACE: Why? 

FREEMAN: You`re going to relegate my history to a month? 

WALLACE: Come on. 

FREEMAN: What do you do with yours? Which month is White History Month? Come on, tell me. 

WALLACE: I`m Jewish. 

FREEMAN: OK. Which month is Jewish History Month? 

WALLACE: There isn`t one.

FREEMAN: Why not? Do you want one? 

WALLACE: No, no. 

FREEMAN: I don`t either. I don`t want a Black History Month. Black history is American history. 

WALLACE: How are we going to get rid of racism until...? 

FREEMAN: Stop talking about it. I`m going to stop calling you a white man. And I`m going to ask you to stop calling me a black man. I know you as Mike Wallace. You know me as Morgan Freeman. You`re not going to say, "I know this white guy named Mike Wallace." Hear what I`m saying? 

I know this isn't exactly what we're doing in English, and it is probably important to be able to recognize microaggressions, but at what point do we need to just stop and see people as people and leave it at that? In English class already, I've become aware of a few stereotypes that I never even knew existed. Wasn't I better off NOT knowing these? Sometimes I agree with Freeman, that if we just stopped talking about race and pointing out stereotypes, the "race issue" would slowly be diminished over time. Any thoughts?

Naps!

     I have a knowledge issue that would probably be solved easily by Googling it, but I'd rather post it here and see how others feel. Is time spent napping as beneficial as time spent sleeping at night? For example, if I slept for 5 hours at night, then took a 1 hour nap later that day, would I be getting the same benefits as sleeping 6 hours that night? That 5+1 schedule has been my sleeping pattern most of this school year, and it works nicely for me because when I come home from school I'm in no mental state to do homework, so I make my time productive by napping instead. But, as a result of this, the rest of my activities and responsibilities get pushed back, and I go to sleep later that night.
     I know different people respond to naps in different ways. Do you feel an hour napping is worth an hour of sleep at night?

Strength of Hate vs. Love

At the volleyball game today, I heard one player say something I found interesting -

"I hate losing more than I love winning."

When I thought about this, I wondered if it's possible to compare the two feelings. Then I decided that yes, you could judge the intensity of the emotion, and that would be fair. Then I wondered if I agreed with her, and decided that I didn't. For me, the level of joy from winning something (sports game, board game, competition, ect) outweighs the amount of sadness or disappointment I feel if I lose. I totally believe this balance is different among individuals though - I've seen clear evidence of it in  my years of being an athlete.

Could one preference over the other create an overall happier person? I suppose if somebody lets the bad things in life "get to them" more than the happy things, this could lead to sadness or depression. Any thoughts on this? Where do you feel you stand in this balance?

Altered Memories

     In TOK last year, we learned about the idea a somebody that the only part of a memory that really matters is the end. For example, a great movie with a terrible ending will always be remembered by the terrible ending.  Along this line, we also talked about the thought that it doesn't really matter how long a vacation/happy experience is. For example, if somebody took a three day vacation on a beach somewhere and spent the entire time sitting on the beach, they would come home with just as happy memories as someone who spent eight days doing the same thing. Memories don't equate the happiness level with how long it lasted - they just remember that it happened at all.
     Do others believe this is true? How much can we trust our memories to judge how much happiness something brought us?

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Clothes' Effect on Mood

     This feels like a shallow topic to blog about. Stereotypically "girly". But I'm going to blog about it anyways. TAKE THAT.
     What I'm wearing and how my hair is styled can completely change my approach to a day and my mood. Is it this way for anybody else? For example, if I'm wearing a sweatshirt and yoga pants, I like to curl up and sprawl out and dance and move in different ways all day, and I have an increased urge to nap. I also tend to approach school and homework with a lazier, "I don't care" attitude. However, if my hair is straightened and I'm wearing nice jeans and shirt and jewelry I planned out, I sit properly more often, hold my head a little higher, and attack the day with more productivity.
     It's not like I think about what I'm wearing before I act in any of these ways. It's subconscious, however, I notice the trend. Does anybody else feel how they look affects how they act? Is this shallow to act in this way, even without thinking about it?

Passwords on Passwords on Passwords

     How much of our lives do we spend logging in, putting in codes or passwords, or unlocking things? We have codes for our school, gym, music, and athletic lockers. We have school IDs and lunch PINs. We have usernames and passwords for multiple email accounts, blogspot.com, moodle, Facebook, Twitter, turnitin.com,  and countless other websites...
     It's become nearly impossible NOT to have some kind of jot book to keep all our passwords and information. At what point is this too absurd? It is that much of a security risk to have the same password for everything online?
     My prediction: within ten years, Google is going to take over the Internet. Google+/Google Drive already has the power to link almost everything together. Would life be easier with everything accessible with a single username and password? Or would this kind of monopoly be too powerful and risky?
     This might be taking it a step too far... but will we ever reach a point where a single finger swipe, pin number, or barcode can register us in everything everywhere around the world? (Has anybody read the Bar Code Rebellion series?)

Ownership of My Room

One issue that I tend to argue with my parents a lot with, and I'd bet that many others do as well, is the amount of control and privacy I have over my room in our house. I understand that my parents bought and own the house. However, as a member of the family, isn't it fair that my room can be MY space that I can control?  My mom often demands that I clean my room when she feels its messy, and feels free to stroll into my room and snoop around whenever she pleases. She'll even "clean up" for me sometimes, and then I can never find anything because she moves it all. We still call it "my room", but can I even call it that if I don't really own or control it?

Split Lunches

Strangely enough, this trimester has been my first experience with a split lunch. I've always had the first or last lunch, so class was never interrupted. Experiencing "C" lunch now, I'm not sure that I'm a fan. Technically, the amount of class time is the same no matter which lunch you have. But the way I approach class is different. While the largest chunk of class time occurs before lunch, I find that the last 30 minutes or so of class that we have after lunch are largely useless for me. Especially with work days, I find this small amount of time useless. It's too much work to get back into the zone, log in, and re-start the academic thought processes for what little time remains. For example, today after lunch I didn't type any more of my ethnography, and I know many others didn't as well. Despite the same amount of total class time, does anybody else feel that when lunch is during fourth hour can really affect the productivity of the class?

Political Opinions on Social Networks

With the presidential debate tonight, I didn't have to watch a minute of it to know what was going on. Looking at Facebook and (much more so) Twitter, there were a handful of  people who made their opinions and interpretations of the debate painfully clear. Despite who the people were praising or bashing, each post angered me. I support expressing political feelings, but I don't feel that social media is the place to do it. Does the entire world have to know your every political sentiment? Do you have to make those who don't agree with your views feel attacked or isolated? No. I feel there are much better places and times to express feeling and opinions about politics; NOT Facebook and Twitter.

Micro Agression in Powder Puff

For PowderPuff football, about 18 senior girls were on my team. At our first practice together, we had no "tryouts" or tests or anything. The coaches (senior football players) just looked at each person and decided what they would be best at. I noticed that all of the African American girls on the team were put in positions where speed was essential: running backs, wide recievers and corner backs. All of them. Although these girls did for the most part prove to be very fast, could this be considered a micro agression? Without any comparison or testing, was it fair for the coaches to assume the African American girls would be fast?

Fifteen Minutes of Fame

The last couple days have been overwhelming after I was announced homecoming queen. Countless teachers, friends, schoolmates and relatives have sent their congratulations, and sometimes it goes further. People I don't know or hardly recognize have jokingly bowed down and opened doors for me, Mrs. Larson sang "God Save the Queen" in IB advisement, I was asked to take endless pictures with little girls at the parade today. All this attention is flattering and overwhelming and even sometimes awkward now, but what about in a month? A week, even? As soon as it started, all this attention will fade away. I'll be normal Jackie again (and what a relief, in many ways!). How can people go from treating me like a normal student/friend/schoolmate, to bowing at my feet, and then back to normal again? It's just all so strange to me: I've been the same person the entire time.

Partner Projects

I'm a people person. I love being with people and talking with people. But I can't stand group/partner school projects.

The simple fact is, no two minds are exactly alike, and with a group project, there is no possible way to have every contributing member be 100% satisfied with their final project. On top of that, if grades are supposed to reflect each person's work and skill level, how can a group project fairly judge that? I always feel that group projects are simply awkward and annoying. Maybe it's just because I like things done my way, but I think that everybody has a little bit of that feeling in them.

Do you all find group grades ethical? Fair? Do you find yourself wishing teachers had more or less group projects/papers?

Bad Decisions Make Good Stories

For anybody who knows my basement, they know that my dad loves to plaster the wall with tons of signs, quotes, and posters. I actually love it. Today with I was down there, two stuck out to me and made me smile:

"If you obey all the rules, you'll miss all the fun"
"BAD decisions make GOOD stories"

Not exactly life quotes you'd expect a father to be surrounding his kids with, but I love them. So often, I see people who are so caught up with rules and doing the right thing and being perfect that they forget to NOT care once in a while and have fun... with this stressful, stressful first tri for most of us DipCans, I just wanted to share these reminders to let loose and go crazy once in a while! Rule breaking (in moderation) is, in my opinion, the only way to stay sane and keep life interesting :)

Lying by Omission

Is lying by omission really lying?

Of course, it we were debating the ethics of it, I believe many people would argue that purposefully leaving out certain information isn't right. However, can it really be considered lying if what you are saying is still true? For example, if someone were to tell their parents that they was going to a friend's house on a Saturday night, but didn't tell them that from the friend's house they were going somewhere different, is that actually a lie? I've never been a fan of the term "lying by omission", I feel this idea should just be described as "deceiving", because no actually lying is involved! This is just a pet peeve of mine.

Mayor Elections

In Champlin lately, with elections nearing, I've noticed signs left and right campaigning for at least three different candidates for mayor. I find this a little silly, considering mayor is such a small job/responsibility compared to say a State Rep. or President, yet their signs are so much more prevalent.

Anyways, as I'll be able to vote this year, I began thinking about who I would vote for Champlin mayor. I'm attracted to each of three candidates differently. For one candidate, I know friends at school who are related to him and campaigning for him, and I want to vote for this candidate because I like the friends promoting him. For a second candidate, I know his brother as an old soccer coach, and he showed up campaigning at my door and took the time to meet me. For a third candidate, I have no personal connections but I'm just intrigued by his name (Seriously though, Payer for Mayor?! How fun is that to say?!).

Especially upon writing this post, I'm realizing how mundane and insignificant these reasons are for voting for mayor. Shouldn't I be wondering about their policies and their plans for my city? Heck, I don't even know what parties these three candidates are representing. I feel that I would never choose a President simply based on his cool name or any personal connections, but maybe because I don't see how much influence a mayor can really have on my life, I'm letting these insignificant details influence my vote.

Sensory Perception

     This is a random thought, but I think about it sometimes and just get weirded out by it. Why is it that most of our human senses - touch, hearing, sight - are pretty universal (for example, unless a disease heeds one's ability, everybody sees red as red, hears the same noises) but the sense of taste and smell vary so dramatically? I'm sure it's all about associations with memories or something, but some people simply like things or don't like things right off the bat. Why do I hate nuts, but my brother loves them, and we've been raised eating the same meals with very similar experiences? Why do I love the smell of gasoline, when my mom feels nauseous when she smells it? As a "way of knowing", sensory perception is strange in that it's largely universal to all people, but there are so many subtle differences that could make all the difference in perception of a certain situation!

Good Stories

     I'm still really struggling with my personal narrative. It's about a moment that I will remember forever, and something that truely did change my viewpoints in a pretty significant way. However, I am discovering that it doesn't make for a very good story for an audience, and I'm finding it very difficult to make it into a good, readable story.
     Is it possible that the best stories, the most important histories of each of us, don't always make the best narratives for the public? Although this moment I'm writing about for the narrative was important to me, I'm really wishing I had chosen something perhaps less meaningful to me, but easier to write about.

"Royalty?"

     This week I found out I was nominated for Homecoming Royalty. All week people have been coming up to me and saying things like "Congratulations," or "Nice job!" regarding my nomination.
     Why? What does it even mean to be "royalty"? It seems as if choosing homecoming kings/queens has been a tradition for years, but what does it stand for? It has almost nothing to do with achievements, or character, or academics, or anything related to school. It's just a matter of enough people writing your name down as a nomination, and then getting enough votes. I find myself in quite an awkward position... although I accept and appreciate congratulations, I don't understand what I did to deserve them. And now I have to get all fancied-up and display myself in front of the entire school. In an interview for the Rebel Report, each royalty member (sort of a vain label, isn't it?!) is asked to answer, "Why should people vote for you?" Holy awkwardness. How can I answer that, when I don't know what people are voting for in the first place? Although I'm honored to be in this position, the whole purpose is slightly lost on me.

Twitter Posts

     I don't know how many of you use Twitter, but I'm a self-diagnosed addict. It's not that I tweet all the time, but I DO read tweets all the time. Especially when I'm trying to put off doing homework, I update my TwitterFeed on my phone constantly to see what others are saying.
   
    What I was noticing today is what people actually tweet about. What's their purpose? Some are easy to see - this tweet is informative, this tweet is a person venting on Twitter because they're annoyed with something, this tweet is just super generic and searching for lots of "favorites" or "retweets" (those of you unfamiliar with Twitter, this is similar to a "Like" on Facebook). If I look at my TwitterFeed now, this is what I see (I won't mention names):
  
     "So glad I have a close guy friend I can tell everything to #bestadvice"
     "'Is that your sister in left field... naked?' #lol #bestline"
     "I can't do the #10PeopleImGladIMet trend because I'm glad to have met everybody in my life :)"
     "You need a serious reality check."
     "CP DANCE TEAM, TEXT ME BEFORE TOMORROW MORNING #URGENT"
     "The music in transformers is way to f*****g epic"

     Sorry for the language, but I felt I should keep it true to what I see.

     Why do so many people at our school feel the need to share every thought, every frustration, every funny moment to the public? I'm a bit of a hypocrite, because I find myself doing it too, but I have yet to discover the purpose of this media. We teenagers are really weird.

IB = Kinder People?

     I've been bothered lately with the concept of people being "better" or "worse" than others, especially within the school setting. We're constantly being compared, not only by our peers but by our test scores, grades, and other measurements. Is a person with a 35 on their ACT necessarily "smarter" than a person with a 22? We seem to think so. Is a person with more followers on Twitter more "popular" than a person with only a few? Some would argue that this is true as well.
     It's so hard to evaluate people, situations, personalities, and intelligence objectively. We all judge and compare based on our previous experiences and knowledge, usually without even realizing it. Nobody can claim that they don't judge or compare people - no matter what we like to think, it happens instinctively. This is a big reason why I like the IB program so much. We are constantly forced to view situations differently, take objective approaches, and think outside the box. It's kind of a crazy thought, but is it possible that us IB students subconsciously learn to "judge" others less and see other possible point of views as we study other subject matters in this same way?

If a tree falls in the woods, but nobody hears it...

     Today after school, I was baking cupcakes and my brother was in the living room. I began ranting to him about something, and he just responded with "yeah" or "okay" once in a while to show that he was listening. All the same, I could tell he didn't really care.
     I kept going on about this topic (something about my school day), and after a while was confused why my brother wasn't answering my questions. When I looked over, I saw he had left the living room. A second later, I saw him on the way to a friend's house outside. I had been talking to myself for who knows how long.
     But here's the thing - was I talking "to myself"? I had believed up until the end that I was conversing with my brother, and I could even argue that I had "credible evidence" that he was listening due to the fact that a couple minutes before, he was present and responding.  However, I got so caught up in my own story that I hadn't noticed when he left.  I feel like this happens to a lot of us - we get so caught up in our own lives, that we don't realize when something about our world or our perceived truth has changed. It just took that small converstaion (apparently with myself) to kind of throw off my confidence in knowing what's going on around me, and wonder what I'm missing!

Can't Do Everything

       Some people have one extreme passion that they dedicate their life to, like a sport or an art or a hobby. I admire these people, but I know I'm not like this. I, and I know many others, like to do everything, but during high school especially I've learned that you really can't do it all.
       I've always been interested in doing everything and anything - every instrument, every sport, every party, every class, every show, every hobby. If time was unlimited, I would probably be in over half the clubs/teams at CP. This isn't too much of a problem in itself, but it becomes complicated when I also want to dedicate myself 100% to everything as well. Since 8th grade, I've learned that I really have to pick and choose what I can do so that I'll have enough time and energy to devote myself to my activities. Slowly I've had to sacrifice activities that I love so that other aspects of my life could survive. I've found this extremely difficult, especially quitting volleyball this fall.
       What's the perfect balance? I realize this is a huge question and varies intensely between individuals, but at what point do we have to decide that giving up something you love to make time for other parts of your life is the right thing to do? Although I'm happy with the decisions I've made and passions I've dedicated myself to, I always have that nagging "what if?" on the back of my mind wondering how things would be if I had chosen other routes. How I wish there was time for everything.
    

When did super fans become Superfans?

     I love volleyball, and I love football. Watching both of these sports is a blast for me; cheering for players that I know and a team that I love is what makes me love watching these sports at Champlin Park even more. If I cheer for a team, that makes me a fan, right? And if I attend nearly every single game, home or away, and dress up and scream my lungs out, that makes me a pretty super fan, right?
     That's not enough, not according to the way that CPHS has been functioning lately. Maybe it's been the trend forever, but especially the last couple years I've noticed so much extra emphasis on labeling SUPERFANS for school sports, not simply by cheering, but by buying gear and extra expectations. Sure, anybody can be a football fan, but want to be a SUPERfan? Then find a player, pay $25 for a fancy jersey, $40 for a sweatshirt, and make your chosen player baked goods for every. Single. Game. Total estimated cost for the season? About $80.
     What is this? Am I the only one frustrated? To be considered a real fan of a high school sport, why does it involve throwing so much money around and putting labels on it? I feel that being a super fan is a matter of love and dedication, not of labor, connections, and money. I feel that connotation and associations of "super fan" have become so much more intense - is this, instead of strengthening Rebel spirit, isolating "non-super" fans and taking away integrity of the fan section? How do the connotations and expectations of "super fan" change over time and team, and what drives this change?

________________________________

 

Maybe a silly topic, but it's been on my mind after last night's football game!

Music and Knowledge: Same song, different views

 

     Today when I got home from school, I found a happy surprise sitting on my kitchen table. This past summer I spent a week at All State band camp, and today the CD of my band's recording session had been delivered to my house. This triggered a rush of memories and emotions from camp for me, and I immediately popped it in the kitchen CD player. I blasted the volume and sat on the counter top for 40 minutes listening to the songs that I had spent almost 50 hours preparing over the summer, and all I could do was listen intently until the CD had finished.
     While I was sitting and listening, my younger brother walked downstairs and stared at me. He asked, "do you need to listen to that for homework?" When I told him I just wanted to listen, he shook his head. "How boring. You can't even hear yourself with the entire band playing."
     A minute later my mom walked in. When she heard the song playing, she immediately smiled. "This is like a Christmas song, I noticed it right away at the concert." She then walked away humming her version of the song. It was completely wrong - a mix of the real melody, and "Carol of the Bells".
     This took a lot of explaining to get the the knowledge issue and I apologize, but my brother and mom's reactions got me thinking. Here we three were, listening to the exact same song, but having completely different reactions to it. For my brother, he immediately identified it as boring band music and didn't see why anyone would choose to listen to it, especially since my flute sound was buried with 60 other musicians' sounds. The same song must have triggered some memory of my mom's, and her limited exposure to the song left room for her imagination to create a spin-off of the melody all together. She listened with an untrained ear, while visions of sugarplums danced in her head.
     While I listened to the song, it was an entirely engaging process. After all the the hours of practice and intensive rehearsal, I knew the song inside out, and no melody, harmony, or ornamentation was lost to me. I heard the mistakes as well - mushy entrances, an early horn - and while I listened to parts that I remembered from rehearsal, the main melody was almost lost to me. The song provoked so many memories and emotions as well - there is no feeling like sitting in the middle of all that sound happening, and contributing to it all at the same time.
      The sounds coming out of the CD player were the same bits of data for all three of us, however, our experiences caused us all to hear and respond to the music in different ways. When somebody says they "know" a song, what does that really mean? Is my mom "wrong" for humming the melody differently from what I played, or am I wrong for defining the music only by the exact way it was written?
      Holy cow, I never expected to write more than a couple paragraphs on this. I apologize for ranting. But once I starting thinking about it, it just got stranger and stranger to me!