DIPLOMA CANDIDATES GATHERING/PARTY

Karli, Anna and Cody all brought up the idea of a Dip Can party of some sort, and it also seemed like in class that most people seemed on board with a Secret Santa among us. Yes?

What if we got together to draw Secret Santas next advisement? Or possibly two advisements from now, when Mrs. Larson is getting us together anyways? The other question is how much we should plan to spend, because I know some of us have no personal income so that can get tough.

If we decide we want to have a party/reunion thing, I would be willing to host over winter break. We could exchange our Secret Santa gifts, Cody could show us his Shoegazer music he's always wanted to, etc.

SO WE HAVE MANY THINGS TO DECIDE AS A GROUP.

1) Do we all want to do Secret Santa? Anybody who doesn't want to should speak up.
2) What kind of price range should we set on Secret Santa? I feel we shouldn't go over $5 or $10
3) Do we all meet up next advisement, or wait until Mrs. Larson's mandatory IB advisement  the next week to draw names?
4) Would everybody be down with an IB party at my house, or were there other plans/ideas?
5) What dates DON'T work for people over the Holiday break? This way we can try to find a day where everybody who wants to can come :)

I miss our class together already, and I hope this stuff works out! PLEASE comment and put in your opinions and thoughts about these questions so we can definitively plan something!

Last Day, Last Blog

     I struggle with ending things forever, I always have. I get so caught up in "this is the last time that I'll ever"... then fill in the blank. And this year has already been full of them. Last traveling volleyball tournament. Last first day of grade school. Last time giving out Halloween candy with my family. But then small, dumb things too - at concerts, the last time I'll play a certain composition. When we get new furniture, the last time I'll sit in this chair.
     I really have a hard time giving things up, and I dwell on "lasts" heavily as they're happening. Once it's over, I'm almost always fine and I just forget about it, but before and during it's all I can think about. I get attached to things, and when I know they're ending it makes me sad that an entire chapter/era/memory in my life is ending forever.
     Senior year has been full of lasts, and there's lots more to come that will probably tear my heart apart. Even now, I'm lamenting that tomorrow is my last day of my current classes, and that this is my last blog. Sad. But like the fortune cookie in Anna's presentation said, we can't let the past slow us down, and eventually we have to look to the future. But I'm still allowed to be a little mopey over it, right?!

Killing a Puppy

A couple weekends ago, a few people and I had the privilege of taking care of two adorable six-week-old yellow labs for about six hours. They were so precious, it was unbelievable.

My brother's friend, part of the puppy team, posed a question that reminded me of some of our discussions in TOK1. "Would you snap one of these puppy's necks for a million dollars cash?"

It's awful. It pulls at your heart, and your immediate answer is NEVER. But then somebody in the discussion mentioned, after lots of thinking, that they might. They thought of what a million dollars could do - solve all paying for college/getting established in life fees, and also be donated to charities. This person valued the dogs life as less than a human's life, and if many human lives could be significantly improved, then in might be worth the life of the animal. After all, they said, this puppy had no family, nobody attached to it. Although it might haunt them for a while, weighing the positives and negatives they would chose the money and didn't feel that killing a dog would be immoral. It was an interesting thought.

How do you feel about judging the worth of an animal's life vs. a human's? Would you kill a puppy for $1,000,000? What about a horse... deer... rabbit...bug? If you answered "no", where do you draw the line in the animal kingdom? It's a tough question, I think.

I'm Going To Miss This

I'm so excited for this difficult trimester to be over!

Mostly.

The homework level is hard, especially because of all the writing we've had to do. But the classes themselves - especially TOK - have been awesome. We have a lot of writing/creative/research work, but it's fun work. Next trimester I think all? of us have a math and a science replacing history and TOK. These classes, while (at least in my experience/prediction) require less time dedicated to work outside of class, require no creativity or personal expression, and we'll lose class discussions and cool presentations like these finals. Maybe it's just because I'm more of an english-type than a math-type, but I feel that I'll miss this trimester and this class soon enough.

Colleges Looking At Facebook

Today, I did a hardcore sweep and clean of my Facebook page, looking over all my info and pictures and "likes" and deleting "Friends" I hardly know, and I stumbled upon a few things that I've never looked at before. I found "My Apps", and it turned out that I had about a dozen apps that I was apparently "using" or a part of without ever signing up or agreeing to anything. As I was deleting them, I saw one was "University of Notre Dame Admissions". This is my #1 college choice, and I had "liked" the school's page, but I knew that I didn't register for any admissions Facebook app. When I investigated further into the app's usage and rights, I discovered something that made my heart drop: 2 days ago, the app accessed and viewed my personal info ("education", "about me", "family", "religion", "relationship status", everything!) friends, and "likes". AHHH! I realize there is nothing necessarily bad or incriminating about this information, but it's terrifying that Notre Dame somehow weaseled their way into accessing it, especially when I know my application is under review this month. I deleted and blocked them now, but I fear the damage is already done and they know what they wanted to know.

Anyways, let this be a warning - schools DO have the power to see what you put on Facebook! I thought that, because only my "Friends" can see my information, that a school would have to Friend Request me and I could just ignore them. But apparently, there's more to it than that. I only wish I had caught them in my apps a few days earlier. Scary stuff.

Too Early for Christmas?

I realize everybody might not celebrate Christmas, but even for those who don't I feel that it's such a prominent part of our society this time of year that you can't completely escape it, and maybe you might have opinions on this too. Christmas Day is in exactly one month. But radio stations have been playing Christmas music for a couple weeks now, many people kicked off Christmas shopping on Black Friday (or Black Thursday, this year), all the Christmas lights in my neighborhood are on at nights, fast fooderies have Christmas drinks out - "Christmas season" is in full swing. 

I personally LOVE this right now - I love Christmas season, and I've been waiting what feels like too long to sing Christmas tunes again. But by Christmas Day, I'm ready to be done with it all. Does it feel like Christmas season becomes longer and longer each year? Is this good, because of the joy and giving of the season, or bad, because by Christmas, when "spirit" should be at it's peak, many people are sick of it? 

Thanksgiving Resolution

My favorite part about Thanksgiving is that it's a day of personal reflection, where other holidays are always celebrating something outside of ourselves. I really feel like Thanksgiving would be a better holiday to make resolutions for, versus New Years. So that's what I did today - made a resolution.

I'm too dependent on my phone. I've realized lately that it's gotten bad - I'll walk from my room to the kitchen to get a glass of water, and I'll carry my phone with me. I'll go to the bathroom, and bring my phone. It never leaves my pocket or my hand, and that's just not something I want to rely on. Twitter is one of the main ways I spend time on my phone, so today I logged off. Then I deleted a few more pointless apps that I use seemingly just to pass time. For Thanksgiving I'm realizing how great the people and opportunities around me are, and I want to appreciate them all more!

Books... For Fun?

Yesterday, Ally and I did something we haven't done in ages: we rented books from the library to read purely for enjoyment. With all the stress of first trimester, that has seemed improbable for months. But as this tri finally winds down, I felt that I would actually be able to read for fun again. Ahhhh! I can't express how joyful I am over this. In fact, I rented books that I knew were below my reading level just to sort of prove to myself that this is just for my own pleasure. Take that, IB! (Oh, the forms of rebellion us IB kids take on...)

Seniors and School Rules

     It seems that this year more than ever, it feels like school rules don't, or shouldn't, apply to us seniors. Today,  a couple instances highlighted this for me.
      My orchestra teacher let us pack up about ten minutes before the bell rang today, which basically never happens. Instead of standing around in the music hallway and staring at each other for ten minutes, most of us decided to just leave and go to our lockers or wherever early. As a freshman, I would have stressed over a school official catching me in the halls and asking for a pass. Today, I didn't even think twice about it.
     Then, in second hour, we had an awful and controlling substitute teacher in Spanish class. There was lots of extra time at the end of the day, where we had literally nothing to work on and no activity to do, so a few students took out their phones and iPods. The substitute (who I could go on forever about) took any electronic she saw, and took them to the AP to keep until the end of the day. How awful! We were seniors, we were mature. We were all baffled she was treating us like such children. I use my phone in many of my classes, not hidden but right in front of teachers - they trust me, and never take it away. But then, I suppose, that is actually a school rule... (weird, nobody enforces it anymore).
     As we get older we expect more freedom and trust, and often lately I find school rules to be embarrassingly elementary and pointless in nature. Of course I understand that these rules are needed to keep control in many cases, but I must say, instances like these make me feel that we have truly began to outgrow high school and need the freedom of college. 

When A Break Is Anything But

Yay! Five day break!

... Right?

Not. Sure, five days off of school, but now that time is, for me, just filled with other activities and responsibilities. Granted, many of the things I have planned are more recreational in nature than school, but most of them are not my choice and literally my entire break (besides Sunday, which will be filled with homework anyways) is booked already. Haircut, out to lunch for grandma's birthday, dinner with some friends, babysit cousins, put up Christmas lights, Thanksgiving dinner, family trip to the cabin for a night . It seems that until spring break and then graduation, I'll never be able to catch a real break. Remember the summer days when we could literally wake up at noon, then decide how to spend the rest of the day? Sigh...

Oh yeah, knowledge issue. Does anybody else fear that as we get older, we'll have less and less of that true freedom like we have had during most summers growing up? It's a sad thought. Can I stay 18 forever?

Turning Life into a Movie

It's crazy how dramatic music can make life. On Saturday, I went to a huge fancy Cystic Fibrosis gala event with my family, and at my dad had been asked to give a speech about our family's experience with CF. My dad is a wonderful speaker and speech writer, and I had to stand on stage with him as he gave the speech. By the end of his speech, half of the room was in tears, and I finally broke down as he finished. I probably would have been able to compose myself within a minute if it hadn't been for the dramatic, soundtrack-like music that was played as we left the stage. As my family and I wove (weaved?) through the hundred of people sitting at tables and applauding us, suddenly everybody stood up and turned to us. This standing ovation, combined with the hundreds of tear-stained faces looking at us, combined with the loud dramatic soundtrack playing, made me feel like I was in the middle of a movie. It was such a powerful moment; not only because of the extreme gratitude I felt, but because of the music too! I feel that if there was a way to have a soundtrack to life all the time, to enhance emotions, life would be much more exciting and dramatic. And there would probably be more crying.

Acceptance Letter Time

I got my first college acceptance letter the other day, to Gustavus. It seems as if many seniors are getting to this acceptance/denial letter season, and it's terrifying. One piece of mail could literally determine where you will live, who you will meet, and what you will learn in the next four years. It's mind blowing! But we have until May 1 to decide and commit to a college, so why find out so early? If you're decided on where you want to go hands-down, I see the appeal of applying early. But if you don't know where you want to go, is it better to have 4+ months to muse over your options and wonder and decide and change your mind and change your mind again? Or would it be better to find out and decide last-second, to save yourself from stress of deciding and second-guessing yourself on your choice? I'm almost wishing I had applied later so that I wouldn't have to think about it for so long and wonder!

Six foot rule

So among people with cystic fibrosis, there's this policy called the six foot rule - we're not supposed to be within fix feet of each other, to prevent spreading infections (b/c the infections we have are only contagious to other CF patients). I go to many CF events, and I've never really been a fan of this rule - I feel like connections with other patients are extremely valuable, and it's hard to talk from two yards away. Is it ethical for me to walk up to CF friends and start a conversation? I've decided the risk is worth it, and I know thatI haven't cultured out any infections beyond a few basic ones that nearly every person with CF carries by my age. Is it okay for me to initiate a conversation, and leave it up to them whether they want to step away or not? Of course I honor the wishes of those who have expressed that they appreciate the rule. I just feel the whole thing is a bit overprotective!

IA vs. EE

I've had a lot of EE posts lately, I know. But what can I say? It's a big part of my life right now.

Just posing a question - which did you like to do better, the IA or the EE? Not taking into account timeframes or anything: would you rather write a 2,000 word research paper with a clear structure on a history event of your choice, or a 4,000 word research paper with a much more flexible structure and on a topic and even subject of your choice?

I'm still not sure what my answer would be. IA, because it's easier and requires less thinking and creativity (which takes more time and can be exhausting). But EE because I really don't enjoy history, but my EE topic is interesting to me.

What do you think?

Senior Perspective on Band

      I've been in the symphonic band class in all four years of high school. Freshman year, when I was moved to this top band 2nd semester, I was nervous as heck. I was the only freshman in the band of 50-ish people besides one boy who played tuba and sat on the opposite side of the room as me. That year, band was a scary but exciting class for me: I was surrounded by upperclassmen, the music was fast, I had so many notes to play, we sounded so much better than the freshman band. On top of this, the flute section loved me: apparently being a freshmen automatically made me a hot commodity. Band was so interesting and exciting then.
     Sophomore year, I was in the same band (there's no "next step" after symphonic). I still felt special as only a handful of sophomores made the band, and I began to nervously make friends with some upperclassmen. I still felt that the band was really good, and I actually felt like I could master the notes and rhythms.
     Junior year, band class began to get boring. For the third year, I had band every day during first hour, and we had the same routine of warm-ups, concert schedules, and rehearsals. On top of this, I had played in the All State orchestra over the summer before junior year, so the level of skill and musicality just didn't seem as special any more. Also, many more people in my grade were in the same band - I no longer felt "special" to be a junior in the band.
     This year, the pattern continues. Because most of my band friends had been upperclassmen (and also because I'm in IB music and out of band some days), I find myself slightly isolated from the flute section. The routine is still essentially the same. Like any senior band member, I'm also a master at deciphering just what and why the conductor, Mr. Lyons, does and it's become very predictable. We've even played some songs that I played in symphonic band freshman or sophomore year. Although I still like the class and love playing, the class itself has lost a lot of its touch.
     Isn't it strange and sad how a perspective on something that stays so constant can change over time? Band used to be so exciting for me; now it's gotten boring, and I feel like the class has very little to offer me anymore. I apologize for the long post, but I was just thinking back on my band memories and how they've changed over time and feeling a little sad about it.

Ethics of Scholarship Applications

Obviously, it would be great to pay as little as possible for college, and many of us are trying to get as many scholarships and grants as possible to make the financial burden of our futures a little lighter. Many independent scholarships (where I find myself looking, because my dream school doesn't offer many of their own) require essays or other personal information in order to apply for the scholarship.Obviously, there will be heavy use of rhetoric to try and persuade the evaluators to give the scholarship to you, but at what point is it unethical? Sure, you might enjoy your time volunteering every week at such-and-such, but can you really write about it being a passion that has heavily impacted your life and made you into a better person and student? This is certainly what scholarship people would like to hear. My desire to acquire as much money for college as possible has led me to exaggerate a bit on things like this, and it's been hard to keep the ethics of it all in check. Thank God for TOK to keep that little voice in my head all the time making me worry about things like this!

EE Struggles

As I finish my extended essay, I'm getting worried as I check back at the guidelines for World Studies papers, the category I'm doing mine in. This is a really new option to write an EE in, and I couldn't even find any examples of World Studies EEs online. That in itself is terrifying - how do I know what to do?

What I DO have is the IB packet of guidelines, but I'm realizing that the focus and structure of my paper doesn't exactly fit with what IB wants. I'm researching/writing about the global distribution of cystic fibrosis care, and focusing on how (and why) it can be improved on a global scale. However, IB wants a study of a local issue that can later be tied to global perspectives. I worry about my paper being too broad and general; even though it's coming together nicely into between 3,000 and 4,000 words, I'm afraid IB will punish me for not having a specific focus. And now that it's 11:15 the night before the paper is (sort of not really) due, I'm freaking out that IB is going to hate my paper and fail it and make me fail the diploma program.

Overreaction?

Anyways, I'm upset. I'm proud of the actual writing in my paper, and I'm going to work to make the grammar and abstract and title page and citations and works cited as perfect as possible over the weekend. However I feel that no matter how "well" its written, IB could get crabby if the content isn't in the exact form they want. Gulp.

Election Time in School

Today is a huge day for the nation and for our futures - election day. I've been getting excited and doing my research for a while now; I was disappointed to see how it was hardly mentioned in school.
A few teachers commented on the "I Voted" stickers some of us students were wearing, and one teacher mentioned how he was going to vote tonight then stay up watching the results, but that was about it. I know, I know - what was I expecting? Fireworks? Speeches? I don't know. I just feel like, in comparison to the weight and importance of the matter in the country and state, it was shied away from at school.
Is this because teachers simply don't have time to talk about it with the tight curriculum, or is it caused by a fear of teachers discussing politics? I just wish we could talk about current events a little more in school.

Expectations

I was having an interesting conversation with a friend the other day about expectations others have for us. My friend said he mostly keeps to himself, and feels pity for people who are "popular" because of all the expectations they must be expected to carry out. Although I see this point, I also feel that it doesn't really matter how many people are watching - expectations still match a person's history of actions. If you've seen how a person behaves or what a person accomplishes for a period of time, you start to expect more of this same behavior in the future. No matter how many people care or are watching.

This pattern of noticing data and patterns and creating "expectations" sounds a lot like "knowledge" to me. But when does it hold us back? If people have low expectations of us, does it take more self-motivation to overcome this and succeed? And if expectations are held high for us, does it put extra pressure on a person, and make it more disappointing if they fail?

I would argue that having higher expectations for others is more productive and encouraging than having low expectations. However, I know others would say that having low expectations means less disappointment. Any thoughts?

Favorites

I never know how to answer when people ask me what my favorite class is, because that's not specific enough - my favorite SUBJECT? My favorite TEACHER? My favorite HOUR during the day? My favorite HOMEWORK LOAD? Right now, almost all of these are different.
Same thing with movies. How you can pick out a favorite? There's so many different elements to consider, and mood and memories all mix.
The movie or color I'd enjoy best right at this moment might not be the same as tomorrow or even an hour. I protest against labeling "favorites"! Ever! It's too hard!