I was having an interesting conversation with a friend the other day about expectations others have for us. My friend said he mostly keeps to himself, and feels pity for people who are "popular" because of all the expectations they must be expected to carry out. Although I see this point, I also feel that it doesn't really matter how many people are watching - expectations still match a person's history of actions. If you've seen how a person behaves or what a person accomplishes for a period of time, you start to expect more of this same behavior in the future. No matter how many people care or are watching.
This pattern of noticing data and patterns and creating "expectations" sounds a lot like "knowledge" to me. But when does it hold us back? If people have low expectations of us, does it take more self-motivation to overcome this and succeed? And if expectations are held high for us, does it put extra pressure on a person, and make it more disappointing if they fail?
I would argue that having higher expectations for others is more productive and encouraging than having low expectations. However, I know others would say that having low expectations means less disappointment. Any thoughts?
I believe the expectations depends on the people, both in the "victim's" and that "expector's" view. While I find that high expectations from other people, when unwanted, cause someone to fail more than it would help them to succeed. However, if the expectation is wanted, the person feels a drive to meet the expectation, thus improving that person's performance. However, low expectations accomplish nothing extra, and would be considered average. However, yes, you will never fail yourself or anyone else because you can always meet the low expectation. However i find even if you fail a high expectation, you have gone further than you would have, had you ever only had a low expectation of you.
ReplyDeleteI have to say that a person's history of actions surprised me; i had not thought of that before. Unconscious expectations can always be bad. If someone sets high expectations for a date that night, and the date fails to meet those expectations, it is catastrophic to the person who set the expectations; however it is also the fault of the one who set the expectations in the first place, not knowing if their expectations could be met, but simply wanting them to be. This can show that high expectations are not always good in every sense. Low expectations, in this circumstances, allows the "victim" or the one who is expected to do whatever, to surpass the expectations, thus ending the night with a better connotation than had the person had higher expectations.